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November 10 Quick updateOkay so life has been a roller coaster ride since May. Still no job on the home front. I have been up for some pretty fantastic jobs too. I cannot figure out what or why I am still unemployed though. There is no rhyme or reason for it other than perhaps God has something else planned for me. It surely cannot be as my daughter's babysitter.
Yes Akira is now here with us. She was born nearly three weeks ago. She is a joy to have around. I had forgotten how wonderful babies are. They bring out the stupid in all of us.
Circumstances had me living with Dani for awhile back during the summer. Then my mom had a Gran-Mal Seizure and we both moved back in to take closer care of her. It seems to be working out for now.
I kicked my friend Ron to the curb when he was offensive one night toward my daughter. He was my last friend locally who I hung out with. But friends don't treat other friends or even their relatives that way. Not in my book. I quit doing arts & crafts and just about anything else I used to do. Lately all I want to do is read it seems like.
I am still stuck in a rut or horrible funk I think is more appropriate in the description department. I cannot seem to get out of it. I am taking new medications daily...but they haven't helped me get out of this pit of despair I wallow in daily. Life doesn't consist of too much anymore. To anyone normal that probably sounds horrible. For me its a momentary bump in the road of life. Nothing more...nothing less. But this is depressing just writing let alone reading back.
I spent the summer between job interviews and testing, etc reading authors. In other words...reading everything an author publishes book by book. It was pretty cool. Then my mom ruined a book. So I can't do that anymore at the library. I am now forced to re-read all my own books again.
It is hard to resign myself to the fact that my credit is gone. I will never be able to repair this mess I am in because I have not had a job in so long. All the credit companies have charged me off to a bad debt and I no longer receive threatening phone calls okay time to be honest ...my mom stopped giving me the phone when it rang. So I no longer have to explain how horrible things are and don't seem to be lifting anytime soon. I never thought this would ever happen to me...of all people! I thought my days of being down and out were well behind me. Only now making a comeback isn't so easy has it! I guess now I realize that things can get worse. Nothing is ever as perfect as it seems.
How do I do what millions of others have done? Make this experience turn around for me and become positive again? How do I re-invent myself? Wish I had some answers....do you? The only thing that has changed is the date. May 01 A Whole New MeHave you ever sat wondering where you should be without any answer? That's what this last month has been about in my personal life.
I am a blank canvas waiting patiently for the artist to put beauty to me with the oil paints. I have no idea which way my life is headed not unlike the artist deciding the proper color to begin his masterpiece with. As usual I am impatient though. The Virgo woman inside me wants direction. On the other hand the bi-polar side wants peace of mind to continue. The stress-free days have been very nice. The clock in my head knows that it cannot last forever though.
I had hoped that by putting my little "classified" ad on my blog would generate at least a few leads. HA! That worked about as well as the Guest Book. Many voyeurs but no one that wants to admit to it. LOL
My creativity has also been sapped as bad as other parts of me for a few weeks. Nothing of interest that drives me to write any articles that would generate notice or even cash flow. Associated Content backed off and Le Niche doesn't seem to have taken off yet.
I have tried changing the outside to generate something new inside. I got my hair cut and styled and began wearing make-up again. It makes me feel more positive to look in the mirror. Heck it just makes me feel more positive in many ways. I wish I could drop some of the weight I gained back from the medication, but I haven't been successful in that department. An entire closet of clothes I cannot wear and to buy more just kills me! Yes! I said it, shopping right now would not be prudent for this fun-loving shopper who loves to spend on clothes and shoes. UGH!
Gosh listen to me go on about shopping. How shallow can I get! Work harder fat girl and quit crying. Get yer butt back into that pool everyday and quit griping. WHEW! Okay common sense has prevailed now and I will now get off the rant.
Today had some happy news. My grandbaby is going to be a girl. Akira Eden is what her mommy and daddy have decided to name her. Which is defined "intelligent delight." We got to see her little bottom in the ultra-sound and there is definitely not anything hanging down. I am quite excited by this news, although my daughter really wanted a boy. I cannot wait to dress Akira up in cute little girly things as she grows up. Just like I did her mommy.
I have spent the last few days and nights at my daughter's place and tonight sort of miss being there with her. I try each week to spend a night or two with her. We play games, talk, laugh and watch movies until she is sleepy. Me being bi-polar and a night person, am always up after her and believe it or not up before her usually. Tonight it sort of seems lonely at home in my room alone.
Oh well, that's life for now.
April 04 Not Working - Will You Help Me Out?I am currently unemployed. I would really like to go back to my field of Office/Business Management. But then again I think I would make a great Personal Assistant to the right principal.
I have 20+ years of hands-on experience in managing small businesses. I have more than 5 years of practical training also. I am exceptional in bookkeeping, budgeting, vendor interfacing, employee supervisory and HR duties. I am highly organized, with great time management skills and can dress up or down according to functionality. I am quite creative despite being colorblind. I am also good with marketing ideas and simple graphic designs.
My work ethic is above average and will go beyond the distance to finish what needs to be done on deadline. I have nothing to tie me down - so travel isn't out of the question. My last position paid me $42k per year before benefits and time off.
I work best in a tunnel when working with budgets, bills and financial reports but can be a great team player as well. With proper planning and good organization anything can be achieved - even last minute if possible.
I am known to be loyal, discreet and honest with integrity to the moon.
Anyone interested in hiring me anytime in the next month or so. I am definitely available. Please leave me a message with a way to contact you. Or go to my profile and get my email address and mention Live Spaces in the Subject line. Only SERIOUS offers please. This is not a joke.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Nini
March 28 Gonna Be a GrandmaI found out about two weeks ago I am going to be a grandma. Well no, not exactly I prefer the term Nana. It reminds me of my Nana growing up. I miss her as much as I do my dad and Steve.
My daughter is pregnant and keeping the baby. Although she isn't married (yet), the father wants to be in the babies' life. We'll see when he or she is born if daddy still feels the same. Baby girl is sick,sick but seems to be dealing with it and eating properly for once in her life. PLUS she is taking her prenatal vitamins everyday.
I gave her exercize equipment to keep her in some shape. I hope she utilizes it. At least I know she is getting some exercize walking and up and down stairs each day. That's something.
I am keeping close tabs on her for this next month, just in case she miscarries. She has been upset recently several times and doesn't need any additional emotional pain to come along. This is not the way I wanted to become a nana, but perhaps it is God's plan. Who am I to say?
Supposedly I won my unemployment, but have yet to see any money come through the mail. It has been weeks and weeks since this whole charade began. I have been applying for jobs that are different. Hopefully I will find something that still pays well, but is in a different industry or capacity. Like a personal assistant!
I finally saw the psychiatrist yesterday. For the first time at that stupid hospital SOMEONE acts like and treats me like a human. In fact the people up front were even very hospitable for once. Although the entire time I was there I had anxiety. I just couldnt wait to get out and get home. I was drained and napped all afternoon. Not a usual activity for me. I am not a napper. Shit I am lucky sometimes if I can go to sleep at bedtime without medication. STUPID brain!
Today my friend Wendy was supposed to come over so I could help her get a job where baby girl works. But she was a no call - no show. Not my problem I guess. I was just trying to help her with a better life. oh well!
So nothing else too terribly important to report. Another day in paradise.
Ciao' March 21 Las Vegas Life ContinuedDays go by quicker and quicker each week. They are beginning to blend into one another. But back to living in Las Vegas...
It has changed considerably since moving here 10 years ago. So much more traffic, despite all the new roads and streets. Sales tax has jumped up an entire point. Gas isn't as cheap as say the midwest, but still cheaper than California. Home sales have slowed down. Making prices drop. Or actually making sellers offer tons of incentives to get you to buy.
Summers are record breaking these past several years. Winters are actually cold and produce snow that sticks. Spring and Fall have lessened both. All the nice weather that was possible to do fun things outdoors has lessened also since Spring and Fall have too.
Any bad day here still beats a good day in the Northwest.
March 18 Las Vegas LifeLiving in Las Vegas. Think of it. To anyone else it must seem magical. And sometimes it is. Other days it isn't any different that living in Spokane or Seattle.
I wrote a ten year retrospective article a couple of month's ago and published it on AC. I feel it is one of my better pieces. Maybe others would say differently.
There are days when I love it here and others when I hate it. But who doesn't, right? I love it when the weather is nice. March 16 Who I am - REPRINTWho I am? An American Woman first and foremost. Someone who believes in freedom of Choice and that ALL killing is wrong whether necessary or not! A hypocrite I am not. I do not run from criticism and will give explanation rather than excuses. I admit when I am truly wrong, apologize and try to make up for my mistakes good and bad!
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Remembering Karma and that what goes around comes around is very important. 
I currently reside with 3. Notice I didn't reverse it! You don't own a cat - you merely co-habitate and they allow you to pay the mortgage, buy the food and clean the box. Most people think cats are skittish, unfriendly and rude but that simply isn't true. Cats have personalities, habits and traits just like us. Plus according to studies having pets lengthens life. 
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